Submission 1: Formal Letter

-

Dear Professor Brad

I’m Chan Yong Sheng a first-year Student at the Singapore Institute of Technology I am writing to introduce myself as one of the students in your effective communication class. My educational background is that I started at Institute of Technical Education in aerospace nitec then when to higher nitec in mechatronics engineering able to go to Singapore Poly in electrical and electronic engineering and now in mechanical engineering at SIT.

The reason why I chose mechanical engineering for my degree is that I due to my interest computer.  I enjoyed learning how to build a computer and knowing the latest technology or computer part that users able to buy on the consumer market this make me to built my very own computer.


My strength is I able to communicate with people and work with them in schoolwork or projects as I work in F&B before I learn how to communicate with the people working with me and customers. It gave me an environment to learn how to communicate with people who I work with and able to communicate with strangers to get their orders.


My first weakness in communication is when speaking to a large group of people is might stutter when I’m speaking my second weakness is my writing skill is I what I writing might be confusing or unclear of the readers and last weakness is reading out loud as I do skip words and have a choppy reading.


 My goals for this module is able to have a fluent reading that when it read is not very choppy next is improving on my confidence in public speaking so that there is not so much stutter when I do public speaking and lastly is improving on my writing skill so that when people read what I write is clear and not confusing.
 
Thank you for reading my letter.


Best Regards
Chan Yong Sheng

Comments

  1. Fu LinJanuary 24, 2021 at 4:57 PM

    Dear Yong Sheng,

    Thank you for the self introduction.

    I have spotted a few mistakes in your letter and I hope that it is useful for you.

    1) Punctuation (right time to pull a comma or full stop to your sentences)
    "I’m Chan Yong Sheng a first-year Student at the Singapore Institute of Technology I am writing to introduce myself as one of the students in your effective communication class." -> "I’m Chan Yong Sheng, a first-year Student at the Singapore Institute of Technology and I am writing this letter to introduce myself."

    2) Unnessary capitalization
    - "first-year Student" -> "... student"

    3) Grammatical errors
    - "My educational background is that I started at Institute of Technical Education in aerospace nitec then when to higher nitec in mechatronics engineering able to go to Singapore Poly in electrical and electronic engineering and now in mechanical engineering at SIT." -> "I started my education at...." and "... before I join electrical engineering at Singapore Polytechnic"

    4) Vocabulary
    - "very choppy"

    5) Abbreviation
    - "Singapore Poly" -> "Singapore Polytechnic"
    - "F&B" -> "Food and Beverages (F&B)"

    However, I am able to understand what you are trying to convey through this letter and hope we can improve ourselves together thoughout this module.We can do it!

    Bes Regards,
    Fu Lin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fu LinJanuary 24, 2021 at 4:58 PM

      Best Regards,*

      Delete
    2. Chan Yong ShengJanuary 28, 2021 at 11:31 AM

      Dear Fu Lin,

      Thank you for your time to read my letter. I will take note mistakes I made on my letter. let improve together throughout this module.

      Yours truly,
      Chan Yong Sheng

      Delete
  2. Chang ShengJanuary 24, 2021 at 11:32 PM

    Dear Yong Sheng,

    Thank you for sharing about yourself, it was an interesting read about how you enjoyed building computers from scratch and be updated with the latest technology.

    In your letter, most, if not all, of the points required was covered in a rather clear manner. I also found the flow of the letter smooth.

    The only thing that I would like to point out is the language used, mostly grammatical and punctuation errors, as pointed out by Fu Lin in the earlier comment.

    Let's work hard towards our goals and never give up!

    Regards,
    Chang Sheng

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chan Yong ShengJanuary 31, 2021 at 5:45 PM

      Dear Chang Sheng,

      Thank you for reading my Letter. I take note of the pointer that you have addressed. Let's work hard together.

      Yours sincerely,
      Chan Yong Sheng

      Delete
  3. Mohan s/o RamamoorthyJanuary 25, 2021 at 2:09 AM

    Dear Yong Sheng,

    Thank you for writing this introduction letter. It helps me to get to know you better since we will be learning together for the rest of this trimester. Your letter is complete in a sense that it contains all the necessary information that is required and is written in a very organized structure. However, there are a few grammatical errors in this letter that I have noticed. Most of them have already been spotted by Fu Lin and Chang Sheng. In the paragraph where you speak about your weaknesses, there seem to be a lack of punctuation. Same for the final paragraph.
    Overall I think it is a well written letter and I look forward to working with you in class.

    Best regards,
    Mohan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chan Yong ShengJanuary 31, 2021 at 5:55 PM

      Dear Mohan,

      Thank you for your time to read my formal letter. I will take note mistakes I made on my letter and I will make the new improve letter. looking forward to working with you in class too.


      Yours truly,
      Chan Yong Sheng

      Delete
  4. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 28, 2021 at 7:34 AM

    Dear Yong Sheng,

    Thank you for this richly detailed letter. You cover the various assignment requirements and add lots of fine concrete detail. The sharing about your interest in computers is especially telling. It allows us to see into your world and get to know something about your personality.

    I also like the detail in the section about your perceived weakness in reading and speaking. You can rest assured knowing you will be having more opportunities to do both as the term progresses.
    For this letter you have already received lots of good feedback.

    Your language fluency in this letter -- in particular, sentence structure -- is an area we need to address, step by step. Honestly, sentence structure is a mechanism much like a computer code. You just need to know how to fit the pieces together:

    Here are items of sentence structure to review:
    -- ...then when to higher nitec in mechatronics engineering able to go to Singapore Poly in electrical and electronic engineering and now in mechanical engineering at SIT. > (spelling/use of caps/use of sentences/lack of parallel structure)
    ...then went to Higher Nitec in mechatronics engineering. I was then able to go to Singapore Poly in electrical and electronic engineering and now I am in mechanical engineering at SIT.
    -- ...is that I due to my interest computer. > (sentence structur) is due to my interest computer. OR ...is because of my interest in computers.

    Please review https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/sentence_variety/sentence_types.html

    -- I enjoyed learning how to build a computer and knowing the latest technology or computer part that users able to buy on the consumer market this make me to built my very own computer. > (Run on sentence: Try revising this one on your own.)

    -- My strength is I able to communicate ... > (use of the tense verb: I able?) I am able...

    -- ...and able to communicate with strangers to get their orders. > (tensed verb?)

    -- My first weakness in communication is when speaking to a large group of people is might stutter when I’m speaking my second weakness is my writing skill is I what I writing might be confusing or unclear of the readers and last weakness is reading out loud as I do skip words and have a choppy reading. > (Note the run on sentences.)


    Try to correctly formulate sentences after reviewing this webpage: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/run-on-sentence-basics/?gclid=CjwKCAiAu8SABhAxEiwAsodSZDo_89Oe_QUv-fsqWS6LKT2589IO590ISrYDuCS8w2KpH1MK7XjA1BoCxfwQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

    Let's talk about this after class, Yong Sheng. You have so many good ideas, and I want you to be able to share them in writing more easily.

    Best wishes,

    Brad



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chan Yong ShengJanuary 31, 2021 at 6:01 PM

      Dear Prof. Brad,

      thank you taking the time to read and giving pointers on my formal letter. I will got through the pointers that you have given me and I will make the adjustment base the pointers been given.

      I look forward to learn more form you in this module.

      Best wishes,
      Chan Yong Sheng

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Critical Reflection

-
Module learning At the start of the, I was unsure what this module expects as I am weak in my writing skill and presentation. In the first class, we were asked to do a survey on my peers. I was alright in socializing but was bad in collect information as I felt alright in my socializing skills. There was an assignment it was to write an introduction formal letter. It makes me think about what I would achieve at the end of the module. I want to able to achieve my writing skills so that I have good writing skills and have fewer grammar mistakes. Next able to do presentations properly so that I have fewer to no stutter. In this module, there were many times where we are required to be pair up with another random peer in the class to do an activity in the classroom. This gave me more chances to able to socialize with my peer in the classroom this also helps me to see how my peer write. As this module requires me to write it help me to gain more experience in my writing skill. As every
Read more

Design and Summary Analysis Draft 1

-
  According to the article, “Soft Robotic Arm…” (2020), Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) researchers have developed a soft robot that can know its position in a 3D environment that uses its sensorized skin. One the future goal of soft robots is to able to make artificial limbs that can more decorously in manipulate objects on the environment. “Think of your own body: You can close your eyes and reconstruct the world based on feedback from your skin,”(Rus,n.d). Soft robots have an advantage compared to robots with the traditional rigid design. Because of its infinite number of movements that the soft robots are able to make at any time it needs a flexible sensor . They do not rely on cameras to provide feedback which is unideal for actual soft robot applications. These soft robots use soft sensors that are conductive silicone sheets that had been cut into kirigami patterns. These soft sensors have “piezoresistive” properties, that are able to change in electrical resist
Read more